I will never not love the Kardashians. If someone gave me the gift of a life-size bronze statue of my favorite sister (Khloe Kardashian) I would put it proudly in my kitchen. Sure, it would startle me frequently in the night, but that is a price I am willing to pay to express fealty to Khloe. On tonight's episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians she proved, once again, that's she's the greatest by putting her baby sister Kendall Jenner straight when it comes to how she's treating their mom.

It's no secret that Khloe can be a bit, how do we say, harsh to her mama. That's probably because Kris Jenner is such an easy moving target, and also because Khloe (like any daughter) recognizes traits she and her mommy dearest share and it irks her. But when Kim Kardashian pointed out that Khloe's bad-attitude was rubbing off on peaches and cream nice Kendall, Khloe leaped at the chance to rectify this. 

She's such a good big sissy! She finally got through to Kendall, but it took a couple of times. The first go round Kendall was distracted by the nature surrounding the duo on their walk -- specifically, the bugs were skeeving her out. But Khloe was persistent (like any good big sister) and before long, Kendall was agreeing with her: They would both try to be nicer to their mom.

For Khloe this meant taking her clubbing. FYI, Kris Jenner totally goes commando in case you were wondering. If you weren't wondering, welcome to the hellish image now burned into my brain. Welcome. May your screams be loud and long. For Kendall, there was no partying required to make her mom feel better. All she had to do was start cleaning up after her massive Great Dane, Blue. Two side notes: I want to drive Scott Disick's mobile office as my job, and seriously though -- that dog needs to go to the vet.

Do you think Khloe will really start being nicer to Kris?

Image via Instagram

Natalie Portman usually always looks delicate, elegant, and flawless. But stepping out to the Shanghai Film Festival, she maybe missed the mark -- oops! No, no, our girl Nat did not have any sort of trashy wardrobe malfunction. If anything her ensemble was classy and understated, as was her stunning hair. Whoa befall me should I ever speak ill of Natalie Portman, dudes. The problem? Her too-white face powder showed up in a biiiiig way under the lights of the camera flashes. 

Ugh, this is a borderline epidemic! Doesn't it seem like some poor A-lister is being photographed looking like a drunk Marie Antoinette? When these types of photos first started cropping up they were easy to blame on HD powders that aren't meant for your average quick pics and flashbulbs. But come on, everyone -- we know that now! So why are we still over-doing our already naturally gorgeous celebs like Natalie? 

This 33-year-old mommy and veritable fashion-plate could probably even get away WITHOUT any foundation altogether! I mean, of course she'd want to slap on some face paint for a big event like this, but I doubt she had any idea that when she left the house for the day she'd wind up accidentally looking like she forgot to take off all of her Black Swan makeup, you know? 

It's not like this was the most outre display of powder on an actress that we've ever seen, but when it's an actress who normally always looks so pulled together and with it, it's, for whatever reason, even more cringe-inducing. Girlfriend needs to fire her makeup artist, stat. Or, if she's doing it herself, maybe step back and HIRE a makeup artist.

Are we being too hard on Natalie here?

Image via Brock Miller/Splash News

Nicole Kidman recently went for a stroll with her adorable kiddos Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret. It was hard to take in anything other than her duo's cuteness, but something else definitely caught our eye: Nicole looked a wee bit different. No, no, we're not talking about Madame Kidman taking another walk down plastic surgery lane. But she did make a change: Nicole reportedly took out her hair extensions and went short! Or shorter, anyway. Oh, the humanity! (I kid, I kid.) 

Admittedly, it's not like this is a buzz-cut or anything, but considering the fact that she usually has long, flowing curls, it's a noticeable difference. Throughout her career, Kidman's mane has been something of a signature. Sure, she's futzed with the color, but has usually stayed in the red or auburn family. She hasn't changed the length very often, though, and we've always thought of her as a long-haired girl. But this new look makes us wonder whether there are some bigger changes to come.

When you've got hair as long and curly as hers normally is, no good stylist should let you chop it all off in one fell swoop. So Nicole was spotted casually sporting a pulled-back ponytail that was straight and fell just below her shoulders. Subtle, right? Well, ladies and gents, I'm calling it now: THIS is a transitional cut. She's testing the short-hair waters to see if eventually she'll dare to go all the way. 

The thing is, she's tried short hair before. VERY short. And she looked great. But I think going any further in her case might be a bad idea.

I love it when ladies go short (I'm in the club myself)! And I love Nicole's length as it right now, sort of a medium-chop. But she's so tall and alabaster of complexion, and her long hair really frames her face beautifully. I think really short hair might be way too severe on her.

So hopefully Nic will take another look at the long, lovely curls on her daughters' heads and realize that while it might be fun to play with other styles on a whim, she's a long-haired girl at heart!

Do you think Nicole Kidman should eventually cut all her hair off?

Image via Lionel Urman/Splash News 

In the game of thrones Real Housewives of Orange County, you win or you die. Tamra Judge is giving a certain flaxen-haired lady Lannister a run for her money when it comes to scheming. Last week, Tamra managed to make things right with Heather Dubrow, but only at the expense of violating the newly earned trust of her newbie Shannon Beador. This week, Shannon and Heather bickered, fumed, and gossiped all because of Tamra's machinations. Yet, somehow, Tamra wound up smelling like roses!

How is this even possible?! I'll tell you. Tamra is using a technique seldom seen on reality TV: She is telling the truth. Rather than prolong the lie, eventually, Tamra totally and unequivocally owned up to telling Heather private details about Shannon's marital problems. Was this a Housewife first? I feel like it might have been. 

Tamra should have been revealed to be the villain, but by admitting she'd done wrong, she made it impossible for Shannon to spew any bile her way. The worst that came out of it? Shannon saying she might never trust Tamra again. 

I can't wait for Vicki Gunvalson to come back from Penis-In-Vagina Island. I mean, from her beachy Mexican getaway with Ayers Brooks (same difference, really). Shannon really needs an ally and Vicki on your side guns blazing is not a woman to be trifled with. Hopefully she'll even manage to put Tamra wise. Lord knows she's managed to do it before.

Shannon is going through a difficult time. I told my roommate today that watching her was like watching my mom somehow wind up on reality TV. Instead of playing by the rule book, she's just trying to be a good person and getting slapped in the face by these veterans. She deserves a lot better than the treatment she's getting this go 'round. Also, Heather girl, you can be funny and classy, and great, but a little humility never did anybody no harm, mkay?

Do you think Heather is the villain this season, or is Shannon in the wrong?

Image via BravoTV

Ladies of London, how I love thee. Americans and Brits may be different, but drama is spelled the same in both language (*Hear that swoop? That was the satisfying sound of my rhetorical nothin' but net opening, boom*). I knew that last week's drama between Annabelle Neilson and Juliet Angus wasn't going to magically disappear, but I didn't expect Caprice Bourret to be the one to keep it all going. Oy, Caprice, noooo -- tres declasse. 

This week Caprice managed to offend both Juliet AND her own long-time buddy Caroline Stanbury. The spat with Juliet wasn't really that remarkable, it was more of the same -- trying to make Juliet fit into a cookie cutter mold that she isn't made for. But the fight with Caroline was feuding at its passive-aggressive British best. Because Caprice was displeased with how Caroline failed to defend Annabelle, she basically told Caroline that she can no longer throw Caprice's baby shower. Uh, okay, dude. Whatever. 

Because Caroline is not a slacker from Southern California, she did not say this. Instead she quietly pointed out that Caprice was being really rude -- and she was right! It made Caprice look like a pot-stirrer to the extreme. It also made her look like a bit of hypocrite. Oh sure, she has no problem demurring to Caroline and passive-aggressively striking back, but with Juliet she'll scream in a limo? Weird. Weird, behavior. I'd chalk it up to pregnancy, but my best friend is pregnant and she has not once yelled at me in a limo. And I've BEGGED.

I didn't think I'd wind up team Juliet, but she's alright, she's just trying to fit in. I still love Annabelle most of all, but mainly because it seems like she's stumbled into this show accidentally. I don't think she and Juliet will ever be close, but a lot of people in the world aren't without the resulting awkwardness having to be aired on television. The drama is going to be in watching Caprice and Caroline for the next few episodes, I think.

Are you team Caprice?

Image via BravoTV

Did you catch the premiere of Bravo's new show, Million Dollar Listing Miami? If you didn't, make sure to find a repeat because this noise is fresh. The three brokers, Chad Carroll (but seriously why is every broker named Chad?), Chris Leavitt, and Samantha DeBianchi are just as intense as you'd expect luxury brokers to be -- but they seem to be having more fun than anyone else in the game. Plus, how refreshing is it to FINALLY see a girl get into the mix? So refreshing.

While Chad and Chris (CHRIS! So funny!) are total characters and definitely make for compelling TV, Samantha is the one to watch -- especially when it comes to how she interacts with Chad in particular. Unlike the other brokers, she's a relative beginner! Watching her bungle a listing interview, make crazy promises, and still try to fit in smooching time with her boyfriend? All of it is a pure treat. Sister is working hard for them benjamins! 

This is only the latest incarnation in the Million Dollar Listing franchise, but so far, it might be my favorite. Why did it take so long for a lady to be featured as more than a supporting character? Sam is just as hungry as any of the dudes -- and maybe even more so. She is, after all, running her own business and starting it from scratch. I get the sense we will see her mess up as much as she succeeds. 

Samantha and Chad have already bickered like little children, with adorable Chris and his eyelashes acting as a referee. Chad says he just wants to help Sam by busting her chops and being really hard on her. But doing it the way he did at her brokers' open in front of her client? That was kind of like pants-ing someone while they were standing in front of the boss. You're just doing it to get a reaction. Get a reaction it did, and I can't wait to see how their relationship develops -- or totally unravels.

Who is your favorite new broker on the show?

Image via BravoTV

Kate Gosselin might have been feeling a lot of stress leading up to the 10th birthday celebration for her sextuplets, but this week we saw it was all worth it -- and more! Sure, Kate was harried, frantic, and stressed to the max. She was the first to admit to the cameras that she is a perfectionist, and when she has her heart set on something, she's got to have it. But even type-A mom Kate was able to let go and see that her party was a success.

I don't know how she did it without keeling over. I got tired just watching her put together the massive carnival-themed party that was an homage to the kids' 3rd birthday. Kate had a lot of prep to do, including buying dozens of fish to give away and trying to build a huge cake that looked like a carnival tent for the kids. But the stress never got to her. 

It seems like from how happy she was with the end results, Kate has learned a lot over the past few years. Foremost among those things? Perspective and an awestruck level of wonder and appreciation when it comes to her kids. 

I'm not normally a person easily won over, especially when it comes to reality stars, but it's hard to deny the facts as they are presented: Kate seems so much happier than she ever has before. Rather than roll her eyes and complain constantly about the level of work she has to do, Kate got emotional talking about why the party was so important to her. It's not just another birthday to her, it's a reminder that she has eight healthy children who have made it this far against all odds. That's actually super touching! No, I'm not crying, I just have something in my eye, OKAY?

Do you think Kate has changed?

Image via Twitter

There's a new outrageous wedding photo trend in town, and it leaves zero to the imagination. This one is all about the bridesmaids, and when we say "all about," we mean alllll about.

More and more professional shots are circulating of bridesmaids lifting up their dresses and baring their butts for the camera. 

Don't believe me? Well, there have been plenty of photos of the bare-bottomed bridesmaids posted for all the world to see ...

I can't even! When you think "wedding," you naturally think "an opportunity for my best friends to flash their booty when we're taking pictures for posterity."

Wait. NO YOU DON'T.

Because weddings and the asses of your friends have absolutely nothing in common. Aren't these grand occasions among the last few where formality is celebrated? Shouldn't we be relishing the chance to dress up all while keeping our bare backsides tastefully hidden away? Coy, cute, and goofy photos are one thing, but revealing a glimpse of your nudie-bum is like knowing the punchline of the joke: Out of context, it makes no sense! 

Do not in any way misunderstand me. I am in full support of doing something unique when it comes time to taking your wedding photos. I'm not a huge fan of zombies or anything, but I was totally amused by that outbreak of zombie-themed wedding pictures -- that was weird and fun. Cool memories being made!

I guess you could make the argument that these behind-baring bridal party shots are also just another way to make memories.

That's all well and good, but I doubt very much you'll want to share those pics with anyone else -- especially given the whole "going viral" issue. You know these things are getting around! Totally tacky!

Would you ever try this trend?

Images via JohnHopePhotography/Flickr  

Tonight we finally saw the awful incident of racism that blindsided Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner in Vienna. It was all over the tabloids and other news outlets when it happened, but watching the events in Vienna unfold before our eyes made them that much more nauseating. In case you missed it, Kim was invited to host the Vienna Ball (held, appropriately, in Vienna), an annual event for charity. The LAST thing she expected was a man dressed in totally horrific black face (DEAR LORD) following her around loudly announcing that he was Kanye. BARF. He should be ashamed! 

But right from the beginning, things weren't going the way Kim or Kris expected. First off, Kris pretty quickly discovered that looooads of the stuff she packed for the trip hadn't made the voyage along with the ladies. Odds aren't high that her unmentionables wandered off -- you know that noise was stolen! 

The duo should have taken that as a bad omen and left Vienna fast. But, being professionals, they hung around. And how were they rewarded? With mistreatment and racism. BOO. There's just no excuse for what unfolded. I'm sure they could sense from that moment on that something wasn't right. But I doubt either woman knew that the trip would end the way it did. 

Was it annoying to be pushed around and rushed to get ready for the event? Absolutely. Was it even more annoying to find that Kim had been signed up for a meet and greet she had no idea about? Sure. But it was the fact that this man in black face was allowed to follow her around being offensive and insulting that was truly unforgivable. This event seemed to tip the hate scales, and Kim had to deal with, sadly, even more hate speech. The only positive thing that came out of the whole ordeal was Kim's blog entry decrying racism. She could have stayed silent or lashed out, but she took an adult approach and did what she could to make a difference. That's admirable!

Do you think Kim handled the situation well?

Image via Instagram

This week's episode was supposed to be all about the teenage members of the Brown family, but it was Janelle Brown who really stole the show. Janelle has made no secret about her struggles with her weight and self-esteem. Over the course of a year, she's made tremendous strides, but lately between work and kids (something we can ALL relate to), she's plateaued. This week, with a little help from trainer Sean, Janelle kicked that plateau's butt and recommitted to her wellness plan.

I'm not one for personal trainers, and neither is Janelle! Sometimes when you're working out, the LAST thing you want is someone barking cliches about pain being weakness leaving the body into your (very sweaty) ears. Janelle griped a bit about Sean's love of symbols and metaphors, but the one he chose for her this week really struck home -- and it's not hard to see why! 

To remind Janelle of just how far she's come, he had her wear a vest that weighed the amount of pounds she's lost thus far. But he didn't stop there! Sean then made Janelle literally climb a mountain. Her eyes were sending daggers his way, and I don't blame her. I might have pushed the dude from the mountain and run off into the night if I was ever forced into a weighted vest. But Janelle's a better person than I am.

More from The Stir: 'Sister Wives' Recap: Kody Brown Is More Secretive Than You Think

She gritted her teeth, didn't murder Sean, and made it to the top of the mountain. Once they arrived, he made her shred the piece of paper where she'd written down what she thought was getting in the way of her progress -- for her, it was 'procrastination.' While I can't support the littering, the sentiment was incredibly moving and Janelle seemed to feel the same way. She definitely recommitted to fitness in that moment -- you could see it on her face! Go Janelle, go! 

What's been your biggest hurdle when it comes physical fitness?

Image via TLC

Hold on to your butts, Beverly Hills! Why? Because you're about to get Maloof-ed -- ADRIENNE MALOOF-ED. That's riiiiiiiight. Just when you thought you'd seen the last of her, The Maloof has risen like the phoenix from the ashes, or like a drunk girl visiting the Jersey Shore in ill-fitting shoes. She's not the only one. Camille "Country" Grammer was also approached by Bravo producers to join the girls this upcoming season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Verily, if this all shakes out, it will a beautiful disaster that will inject SO MUCH LIFE into this waning franchise. 

If you're like me, you wondered what Bravo had up its sleeve after the hot mess that was last season. Don't get me wrong, I'll be watching no matter what, I'd ride or die for all the Housewives! But even the drama between Brandi Glanville and Lisa Vanderpump wasn't quite enough juice to keep all those other stragglers afloat! 

While I'm sorry to see Carlton Gebbia go (#witchywoman #sexpole #femaleempowerment), I've been holding the door open for Joyce Giraud since episode one! I've come to accept that these two are done and dusted, but I had assumed the show would just recruit two other newbies to replace them. The fact that they are bringing back these vets? That is a pleasant surprise!

I know, I know, some folks might disagree. Adrienne is a known shit-stirrer, and Camille's recent personal domestic drama might make her too emotional and fragile to be in front of the cameras. But let's be real: All of those "flaws" are the things that make for totally captivating reality TV! Oh sure, I sound like a monster, but you know I'm spitting mad truth up in here. At the very least, this will give the show the blood infusion of drama and awesome it so desperately needs. 

Whose team will you take in the upcoming season? I'm team Maloof. 

Image via Instagram

You guys, tonight I felt so badly for Shannon Beador! Even a jaunt down to Mexico with Vicki Gunvalson and her paramour Ayers Brooks couldn't put the pep back in her step. Can you blame her?! Her marriage has been under the constant scrutiny of the other Housewives and nobody needs that stress! Is it any wonder that she totally broke down at their dinner party? It feels like not one person understands the strain she is under. 

Don't get me wrong, it was great to see Shannon finally find a true ally in Vicki, but as sympathetic as good ol' Vick may be, even she is bringing her own baggage straight to the station when it comes to how she's viewing Shannon and David Beador's marital strife. She may like Shannon a lot (and I think she really does! The two women get along so well), but when she looks at Shannon and David, she is straight up seeing herself and her ex-husband Don. 

I totally understand why Shannon fell apart at dinner. It wasn't just the bickering with David or the strain of their recent problems; it was the fact that everybody was watching them and examining their every move. I'm of half a mind to say that Shannon should leave the show! That would definitely be the right move to make if she's serious about saving her marriage -- and I think she is.

But if Shannon left, we'd be losing such a great new addition! Shannon is fun, and unique, and sensitive, and she's got all the other Housewives fighting over her! Seriously, I haven't EVER seen Heather Dubrow squirm over her status the way she has this season, and it's delicious. Also, I want Shannon to stick around and call out Tamra Judge on her shady double-dealings. 

Do you think Shannon is misunderstood? 

Image via Bravo

Oh my God, Juliet Angus! You single-handedly made me scream with discomfort while watching this week's Ladies of London. No, I'm not put off by your self-proclaimed 'honesty'; I, like most other people, are just totally freaked out by your total rudeness! You don't have to be a Brit to have manners, and getting up to leave a dinner party to have a cigarette is just a no-no! Add to that the fact that she played the part of spoiled toddler and refused to eat what was given to her, and you've upped the ante from sloppy to full-on deliberately gauche. 

"You shame America!" I was maybe heard to shout in our small apartment, frightening not just the dog and the cats but also a house-guest visiting from Singapore. Hopefully she did not think that this comment was directed her way -- she is very polite. Unlike Juliet! 

I actually gasped when her hostess announced what the food was going to be and she deemed the appropriate response to be throwing a hissy fit about "not eating Bambi." Grow up! Stay mum! Eat around it, you foolish fool! I don't agree with Caroline Stanbury about everything (I happen to think she and Caprice Bourret are totally just using all the other women as pawns), but she was right to point out that Juliet was a hypocrite for acting as deer-bearer after throwing a veritable snit-fit not so long ago about manners and etiquette. 

I love that this show has brought out the WASP in me! I was incensed by Noelle Reno's table manners -- incensed, I say! Where did this ire come from? I'm not a lady. I am watching this while wearing neon pink running capris!

Still, I just don't get it. You're invited into this world that is not your own, don't you try to enjoy it and appreciate it and savor the experience rather than jamming your own bad attitude down everyone else's throat? No, Juliet, Lady Sandwich has not seen Ferris Bueller's Day Off -- and that's just fine! Just a grip.

Do you think Juliet was out of line?

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Tonight on The Real Housewives of New York, the trip to Montana concluded with Kristen Taekman quietly losing her mind. I blame geo-caching. I also blame Ramona Singer -- because is there's a stank in Housewife-Land, Ramona is usually at least partly to blame (that's right, y'all my gloves are coming off). The only person I don't blame is the person Kristen has decided is the source of all her woe: Heather Thomson.

I get that Kristen felt stressed out and bullied and weepy. I would too if I had to travel with the Housewives (of any franchise) all the way to wilds of Mantana (not a typo). But the way she went after Heather at dinner was insane. It's one thing to bitchily say that your friend is being bossy. It's another to say that she controls her husband! That was a shot below the belt and Heather made that perfectly clear. She deserved an apology, and she didn't really get one. If I was Heather I'd be furious. I'd also have fabulous hair. 

Even though Kristen was hanging out with people making unreasonable demands on her, that was no reason to go after Heather. I kind of get why it happened. In those of situations it's almost always easier to go after your best friend rather than direct your aggression towards the sex-crazed senior citizen and the clearly deranged wine maven. It's not about not understanding Kristen's motives, it's about how she handled herself afterwards.

She kept saying that Heather's friendship meant so much to her. You could never have guessed that was true based on "the apology" she gave to Heather. Rather than screeching and STILL insisting that Heather was bossy and trying to make her feel guilty for not realizing that Kristen was having a bad day, she should have simply said, "I'm sorry." Heather's known Kristen long enough not to expect this from her. She was a bigger woman than I, and let it all go. So all is well in the kingdom -- for now.

In closing: Who else here feels like they've seen Sonja's nipples more often than their own?

Did you think Kristen was right about Heather?

Image via Bravo

Whoa Nelly. Miley Cyrus in tears? I don't know about you, but that's not the first thing I expected when I tuned into her 2-hour 'Bangerz' special on NBC. But that (in addition to some high-powered theatrics) and a confession about her time in the hospital is exactly what we got. Miley totally opened up about the events that led to her spending some time in the hospital, and it wasn't what anyone expected. Yikes!

So why the massive crash? She didn't wind up melting down because she ran out of high-cut leotards nor did she weep because she pulled a muscle in her tongue rendering it useless. No, no -- Miley was crying about her dearly departed dog Floyd. Again. Don't get me wrong, losing a pet is a hard, hard thing -- I've been through it, and it's miserable. But I don't think it warrants a T.V. confessional AND A GIANT STUFFED VERSION OF YOUR DEAD DOG TAKING CENTER STAGE! AH! 

I feel like I'm being too hard on Miley, especially given how open she was talking about her feelings during this special. I was nice to get this glimpse of Miley's life. In fact, for a rock star on the road with the sort of reputation she has for off-the-chain insanity, her adventures seemed pretty tame and fun-loving, if not for everyone.

But that stuff celebrating Floyd was just over the top. It would be one thing to quietly dedicate a track to her poor pup, but with this sort of over-the-top display is it any wonder that Miley had to be literally hospitalized because of grief?! I know everyone processes stuff differently, but it seems like Miley is dwelling in the sad memories of the past and not moving forward. It made her sick before, couldn't it do so again?

Do you think Miley needs help with her grief?

Images via Instagram/NBC

Tonight the entire Brown family deserves a slow-clap round of applause. Traveling with kids is difficult even if it's just one kid on board. Whether or not we like to acknowledge it at the time, going on "quick and easy trips" is a thing that goes the way of "sleeping in" or "not eating leftover hot dog pieces for dinner" -- it just doesn't happen. Tonight we saw Kody Brown crack under the strain of traveling with your plural family. 

On tonight's episode of Sister Wives, the family embarked on an epic cross-country road trip to visit a biblical polygamist family and learn what their experience is like. But this episode was all about the journey and not about the destination. The last time the Browns went on an epic road trip, it was a miserable experience. This one is going ... insanely well! The gang for the most part stayed out of fights, stuck to a schedule, and remained calm. Well, apart from Kody. 

That's right, Kody snapped! To be fair, he was dealing with raw sewage at the time, and frankly, I would've gotten a lot more pissy (pun totally intended) than he did. When the family went to stop for the night, it fell on Kody to drain the toilet waste from the RVs. He goofed and wound up with poop and other less than awesome materials all over his shoes. I've got to admit, watching Kody blow his stack? It's pretty darn adorable.

It probably wouldn't have been quite so cute had they not cut to his interview segment. Grinning ear to ear, Kody chuckled, "I was REALLY mad!" There's nothing better than someone blowing their stack and then realizing how silly they were being and getting quietly chagrined about it. With everything else he and his wives had to deal with on this trip, Kody was well within his rights to mildly lose his cool over something so gnarly.

What's the biggest road trip disaster you've had with your family?

Image via Twitter

Tonight on Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Kourtney Kardashian very nearly allowed Scott Disick to have a helipad installed in their backyard. It didn't stop there -- you can't have a helipad and no helicopter to land upon it. Scott planned on doing just that, getting one chopper and launching what he called "LD Air." You know, Lord Disick. Sigh. 

Clearly this was no different than any of Scott's other half-brained notions (i.e., that time Scott BECAME Lord Disick). Kourtney's always been really balanced when it comes to Scott and his schemes. She laughs and teases and sweetly talks him away from the truly insane. But this week, she stayed mum. In fact, she pretty much supported the idea that Scott get the airplane. Her reasons for acting so out of character were super-touching and impacted people other than just her and Scott. 

Kourtney didn't want to shatter Scott's dreams because it was so clear he needed something exciting and silly to focus on in the wake of coming to grips with the tragic deaths of both his parents. Kourtney knew better than to pee on his parade when the plans for his new life in aviation were one of the only things making him seem happy. But of course, there was a little bit more to it than just that.

Kris Jenner was all up in Kourtney's business (shocking, I know), demanding that Kourtney get Scott in line and that she crush his crazy plane dreams immediately. Kourtney walloped one hell of an emotional punch. She told Kris she didn't want to be like her: So controlling that it ended her relationship. Ouch!

In the end, Scott did what we all knew he was going to do: Give up the scheme and build something for the family instead. Kourtney was smart and kind and so sweet to give her hubby that space he needed to get there on his own. Her words also impacted Kris, causing her to check in with Bruce Jenner. They seem to be on much better terms these days, and their frank talk about Kris's control issues seemed well overdue.

Do you think Kris and Bruce will ever get back together?

Image via Twitter

What happens in Mexico does not stay in Mexico. That's because Mexico is not Vegas and has no such slogan that would imply this to be the case. This week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki Gunvalson made it clear that she plans on bringing back quite a lot from her trip south of the border. That's right -- she's got crabs! I kid, I kid. Vicki and Shannon Beadorbonded hardcore, and I'd bet money on this new alliance damaging Vicki's friendship with Tamra Judge. TELL ME I'M WRONG. You can't do it. It can't be done -- I am always right, ask every dude I've ever dated. 

Although the trip to Mexico was emotionally rough for Shannon and her husband David Beador, Shannon and Vicki have never been closer. Seriously. The last dinner in Mexico when each of the couples should have been gazing at each other all sexy-like ended with Shannon and Vicky clutching hands. Maybe David and Ayers Brooks were touching penises under the table, but this seems highly unlikely.

The ladies' new-found love for each other doesn't show any signs of dwindling -- and that means Tam-Tam and Heather Dubrow should look out. Those hypo-allergenic puppies Heather bought would make terrible guard dogs. One glare from Shannon and they would turn to bone and ash. And Tamra's bangs? Verily, they will not save her from the supersonic brain-melting screech of an enraged Vicki.

For now, the storm seems to still be just on the horizon. Tamra very quickly paid a visit to Queen Vick when she returned from her sexfriendcapade (trademark me) to tell her mistress about the misdeed she had done toward Shannon. You know, that time when she totally betrayed Shannon and then lied about it? Vicki played it pretty cool in the moment, but one's place of employment isn't really the best locale to issue a brutal beat-down. Mark me -- it's coming. Just you wait.

Do you think Tamra and Vicki's friendship will survive this season?

Image via Bravo

This week on The Ladies of London, basically every American (minus Noelle Reno, who is, I suspect, a cyborg and thus free of any nationality) lady sobbed. In addition to this torrent of tears, Annabelle Neilson, known to you and me as the coolest person possibly ever born (sorry Elvis and also my mom), got her wah-wah on as well. The difference? Annabelle was the only one with any reason for wailing and gnashing of teeth. She shattered her pelvis training for a horse race. 

Invalid reason for crying: A friend says something passive aggressive to you while you sip champagne at brunch. Valid reason for crying: YOU ARE FLUNG FROM A HORSE GOING 45 MILES AN HOUR AND BREAK YOUR PELVIS. Other valid reasons for crying include facing down the dark void of the unknown and losing your debit card.

Seriously though. Annabelle's trials and tribulations this week made the other petty squabbles look like, you know, petty squabbles.* Was Juliet Angus rude? Yes. Did Caprice Bourret and Caroline Stanbury continue their icy battle for supremacy? Very much so. But all of it paled to the panic that gripped my soul when we were whisked away to a tiny cottage in Dorset. 

The camera slowly panning up Annabelle's ridiculously long hospital gown was like something out of Psycho. She was in so much pain! There is so little meat on her as it is -- what will the little injured duck do for padding now? I kept hurling pillows at my T.V. screen, but that was ineffectual, and then I had to stand up and put the pillows back on the couch before the dog took ownership of them. Which I resented. Because I am lazy.

It's a pity Annabelle won't get to ride in her big charity race. The only solace I take out of any of this is that tonight I realized that she reminds me of Emily Mortimer's character on 30 Rock. You know, the one who was always going "careful, my bones" whenever Alec Baldwin tried to make out with her. 

Do you think this means we've seen the last of Annabelle on the show?! I hope not. 

Image via Bravo

*That phrase always makes me think of well-dressed pigeons. I stand by it. 

Guess what, y'all? Brandi Glandville is pissed off big time at Lisa. "Becca," I hear you say, "why are you reporting this. Brandi is ALWAYS mad at Lisa Vanderpump." But THAT dear friends is where you are wrong! While I am sure that if queried, Brandi could find something to hiss and snarl at the 'Pump about, Brandi's ire is currently directed toward another Lisa -- Lisa Rinna!

That's right! It's official, the actress and SkyMall featured spokeswoman for this exercise device that shakes your abs to thinness (I fly a lot) has joined the ranks of our favorite ladies in Beverly Hills (and also Giggy the dog), and Brandi is rumored to be furious about it. Side note: I hope they make Giggy the villain this season -- that would be editing at its finest. We might have to draw angry-eyebrows on him though, and God knows that would set PETA off. 

Brandi can deny it all she wants, but it's clear she's jealous of Lisa! The woman is insanely happy, insanely successful, and has a picture-perfect family. Brandi might claim that she would never hate another woman for having a great life, and while that might be true, she never said anything about not seeing green when another hot lady joins HER show and threatens to upstage her! Dramz, dramz, DRAMZ, I say! 

There is no way this won't keep the show from being THE MOST AWESOME EVER. By the end of last season, Lisa Vanderpump had been dethroned and was left friendless but for Carlton Gebbia and her breast-crystals. With Carlton gone, I had been kept up at nights wondering what would become of Lisa alone in the Hills of Beverly without an ally. I really hope the Lisas join forces and become a Transformers-like SuperLisa. Ken Todd would faint from happiness at the overabundance of feminine brunettes named Lisa and that delights me to contemplate. 

Do you think Brandi and Lisa Rinna will be friends or foes?

Image via Instagram